Obedience To Parents    

    In Islam, obedience to parents is an essential part of a Muslim’s duties, alongside worshipping Allah. Allah says in the Holy Qur’an:

“And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour.”

وَقَضَىٰ رَبُّكَ أَلَّا تَعْبُدُوا إِلَّا إِيَّاهُ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا ۚ إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِنْدَكَ الْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَا أَوْ كِلَاهُمَا فَلَا تَقُلْ لَهُمَا أُفٍّ وَلَا تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُلْ لَهُمَا قَوْلًا كَرِيمًا

This verse highlights the importance of treating our parents with kindness and respect. Muslims should honour their parents, speak politely to them, and treat them well in both words and actions. Yelling at them or treating them disrespectfully is contrary to the guidance of Islam. However, we should never despair of Allah’s forgiveness and mercy. In this article, we will explore some practical examples of how to be dutiful to our parents and explain when obedience to them is not required.

How to Be Dutiful to Your Parents

    Some might wonder how they can be dutiful to their parents in practical ways. Here are some examples. When you start earning money and become more financially stable, remember the people who raised and supported you. You can give your parents gifts and buy them what they need, including things they might feel embarrassed to ask for. When your parents grow old, they may need medical care, and you can accompany them to their medical appointments.

If you are married and have children, encourage your children to visit their grandparents. Let them see you treating your own parents with kindness and respect, so they can learn to treat their parents well, too. If your parents ask for a glass of water, you can bring it to them as a simple act of kindness.

Allah says:

“And lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy, and say: ‘My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was small.’”

وَاخْفِضْ لَهُمَا جَنَاحَ الذُّلِّ مِنَ الرَّحْمَةِ وَقُلْ رَبِّ ارْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِي صَغِيرًا

When Should You Not Obey Your Parents

    In today’s world, life is full of complexities and demands. Allah knows how circumstances change, and Islamic teachings establish limits on obedience to parents. The Prophet ﷺ said:

لَا طَاعَةَ فِي مَعْصِيَةٍ إِنَّمَا الطَّاعَةُ فِي الْمَعْرُوفِ

“There is no obedience in disobedience to Allah; obedience is only in what is right.”

Based on this Prophetic hadith, obedience to parents does not extend to matters that involve disobeying Allah. Although the relationship between parents and children is unique and special, obedience to parents does not take precedence over obedience to Allah. If your parents ask you to abandon an obligatory Islamic duty, you should not obey them in that matter. At the same time, you should remain compassionate and gentle when disagreeing with them. You should continue to show gratitude for what they have done for you and treat them with good manners.

Make Du’a for Your Parents

Remember to make du’a for your parents, asking Allah to grant them safety, good health, and well-being. May Allah forgive us, our parents, and the believers on the Day when the judgement will come to pass. May our Lord inspire us to be grateful for the blessings He has bestowed upon us and our parents, to do good deeds that please Him, and, through His grace, admit us among His righteous servants. May we all be dutiful to our parents.